Eggcellent Mom Chronicles

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I didn’t even realize this was a recognized period until a year ago, when I was forced to face the reality of my own endometriosis diagnosis. This post is for the women and families currently sitting in the weight of infertility. I see you.

If the last two years have taught me anything, it’s how to expect the unexpected. Now, I’m being asked to practice the “art of letting go.” I’ve heard this is a pivotal part of becoming a parent, but I didn’t realize the lessons would start before she even arrived. Cue the song, “Let it Go.”

April has a way of leaving its mark on me. Two years ago, it was a dark month. I was facing a diagnosis that meant an extremely rare chance of having a child. Thankfully, I sought a second opinion and learned the truth. In that season of uncertainty, I found a doctor I was head over heels with and officially chose to make my life’s dreams come true by moving forward as a single mother by choice.

Exactly one year ago, April 22, my life looked very different. After one round of IVF, two failed embryo transfers, and back to square one with zero embryos remaining, I was wheeled into surgery for a laparoscopy. I was clinging to hope, fighting for the possibility of carrying a child of my own. Looking back, I am so proud of the Renee of one year ago. She chose to keep moving; she stuck with the goal. She fought through every heartache, every needle poke, and every unexpected result.

My daughter will know how much she was wanted and loved before she was ever earthside. I’ll tell her that the women in our family fight for what they want, and we usually get it, even if the path is winding.

The art of letting go is back today. After being head-down and “ready” last week, I learned yesterday at 37 weeks that she is now breech. Officially, head over heels. I’m back at a crossroads, having to let go of the things I cannot control and decide on the next steps for her arrival. It is a strange feeling to be just weeks away from the finish line only to have the map change.

There is one thing that remains true as I navigate these final decisions: I am head over heels with my baby girl. She is my greatest achievement and a true miracle. Whether she arrives head-first or feet-first, she has already turned my world upside down in the best possible way.